As we live our lives, we make many choices. Some are driven by family upbringing and generational events, others come from what we learn along the way, and others are forced upon us. We experience things that we enjoy. But what about things that bring us joy? Turning a very difficult conversation or experience into something that offers us peace and family harmony is the overall purpose of the Three Steps.
In the Jones family, using the 3 Steps, they find a way to help Grandma and Grandpa age in their own home. Even though the family only managed to work through the first 2 Steps, they were better prepared for the harsh wake-up call when Grandma fell and got hurt. Once the emergency passes, family members needed to get back to their own lives. Step 3, the Care Planning Team (CPT) helped them do just that. During this step, they discover options that will work- and some that financially or due to underwriting won’t work. They also discover some side benefits of working together-and the results brings them joy.
“Hi, everyone, one of the great side eff ects of being a
part of the Care Planning Team (CPT) is that we all
get together on a regular schedule. I think we are all
benefi ting from this learning process. Let’s have some fun.
Th is guessing game relates to possible retirement locations
and their various care costs. Who would like to guess as
to how many counties there are in the United States?”
Each CPT member throws out a number.
“Doug guessed 2,850 and that was the closest. Currently,
there are 3,006 counties in the United States alongside
142 county-equivalents, like boroughs in Alaska and
parishes in Louisiana.55 Keep in mind that costs and local
services may vary from one area to another.
“What’s my prize?” Doug asks.
“You don’t wind up receiving care at a location that isn’t
your first choice!”
“Good point! By taking the current monthly cost and
then using one of the insurance geographical cost-of-care
calculators56 to push it out twenty-five years, I can estimate
how much money I would have to save to cover costs
in various settings and locations.”
Nicole does some quick math. “Wow! The aging baby
boomer population is estimated to be about 72 million
people. It’s impossible to know where costs will go, other
than up! Let’s just confidently conclude that it is likely to
be a significant number.”
“Even if I gave up my favorite restaurant, wine, and
poker games, ”Jackson says, grinning at Doug, “I don’t
see us saving that kind of money!”
Jodi nods and says, “Or keeping that amount of money
in an emergency fund earning next to nothing! Bottom
line, Dad and I don’t want to be obligated to keep that
amount of money in a low-risk investment, designated
only as an emergency extended or long-term care fund.
We want to leverage our money by insuring against funding
those ever-increasing costs. More importantly, we want to do
it while we qualify for several options so we
- excerpt from "How Not to Tear Your Family Apart